November 22, 2012

closing

salam. i'm thinking of closing this blog. deleting, removing whatever soon. there's nothing to write here anymore, with all those memories of him still lingers here. i'm not fond of that. as you know, we broke up 2months ago. he asked for it, many times, and after full considerations, lepas kesabaran saya yang makin hari makin tipis, i gave in. saya bagi ape yang die nak. and Alhamdulillah, saya lebih tenang. dengan hidup hari hari gaduh, hari hari mintak break, sape yang bole bertahan? i've stayed long enough. i hope you are happy. i hope you will find someone better than me. love her, like her, take care of her much more the way you take care of me. and i will choose my own happiness, and hoping someone that can love me more the way i love him will come one day. still dalam proses mengenali, but, i'm happy nonetheless. and i realise one thing, thing i dont want to acknowledge it before this, thing you've said to me before. yes, we are more like friends than couple. truthfully, you are right. and i'm sorry.

February 06, 2012

anyeong..

while waiting for family outing season 1 to finished downloading, i suddenly remembered my blog. haha. i didnt come here to write anything, because err i simply didnt know what to write. saya seorang yang suka pendam? yeah, maybe. i like to talk to myself. in my brain. that's why sometimes aqie are frustrated because i kept silent. to think and talk in my brain haha. well its a habit.

by the way, its already 2012. means, i am, and all 91-liners, are already 21years old. the so-called mature age where you can just going out without permission from your parents. duhh, we are malaysian people. i still go out with permission. kalau tak, my mom will call and shout at me haha.

at 21 years old, i start to think about the future. married, working, responsibility, and more. but, among them, married is the most thing that i worried about. i want to get married. i do. sometimes i felt going out with him almost everyday, hold hands, makes me think more that this is not good. i tried to talked to him about this, but when this topic started, he seems moody. i know, its because he taught about all the responsibilities he need to carry, and because we are so young and still studying.

but, i really want to go out with him as a married couple. so we can do whatever we want and takde orang yang akan persoalkan. besides, while kiamat is aprroaching, i want to at least get married and be a good wife. yet, i know that my parents will object this. being so young, and studying and all, apa nak makan? -.-

merepek je malam2.

November 08, 2011

midsem break

hi. i didnt like updating my blog at uni, so i only done this at home. but not everyday though. my break isnt like a break at all. i'll be super busy handling my JPA's scholarship, studying organic chemistry (T.T) and economics (-.-) for my exams, going out with my homies (done with hasliza today, hehe) and others. one week is surely not enough for us la adoiii. i need more ! >.<

i've already got my SUJU albums. huhu finally. and its worth waiting since version A's album is BIG and quite HEAVY hahaha. while ACHA is small, but its fine. i love it anyhow.

i bought one novel today, eventhough i'm not supposed to, since i'm pretty much broke -.- . and i love one sentence in it, to conclude my post today hehehe. malas nak tulis pnjg.

the hero spoke to a guy who's gatal with the heroin;

"Saudara tak perlu nak mencuba, dia hak saya"

pergh berbunga hati >.<

:)

October 26, 2011



cr:chibird tumblr.

seriously, i'm posting this image here, since i think that i've done to much sending these kind of msg to him. and never get replied. i'm not asking it, but wouldn't it be nice if you open your fb and got this type of msg? you know what i mean?

then, thank you.

July 31, 2011

selamat berpuasa :)

assalammualaikum. :)

bulan baik, kena ubah sket lahh perangai. xboleh nk terkinja terlompat tergedik terlampau semualah.

just updating about myself today. last week, sakit selama seminggu menyebabkan berat saya turun kpd 46kg. huhu nk sampai 44kg tp selera da datang balik, so reda jelah. ni pun da naek sekilo dua hehe.

lepastu hmmm, i decided to take fasttrack. aku tau akan ade orang yang marah nanti, 'pja terasa' , but then, i really thought about it sampai demam2 dibuatnye, and this is the choice i've made. i asked my senior, i asked pharmacist, and they all said that i should go to degree. walaupun pointer aku tinggi, that doesnt guarantee my place to degree. sebabnye, kite abes dip, then apply degree. die akan panggil interview, and the interviewer is a foreigner. kena sangat fluent in english and kena tau detail giler pasal praktikal.kalau lepas interview, dapatlah masok degree. kalau x, then pilihan yang ade ialah oversea, ataupun uni swasta. ipta laen sangat susah ntok amek student dr uitm. aku tanye akak pharmacist yg dlu studi usm ukm, sume cakap jarang jumpa. xpelah. lagipun aku takot kepala da malas nk belajar nnt. hehe.

lari topik sekejap. ni nk luahkan isi hati jantung segala.
untuk orang yang da ade couple, pandai2 lah divide time antara couple dan kawan. aku bukan lah nak berlagak aku pandai divide time ke ape, ni luahan hati je. sebab da terkena dengan kawan rapat sendiri kan. jangan terlalu obses ke sayang segala ke sampaikan keluar gn kawan pun tak nak. contoh, mcm aku lah. aku jarang keluar berdua dengan aqie. lagi2 kalau maen boling ke tengok wayang. biasenye akan ade kawan aku yang join sekali. sebabnye, aku rase lagi ramai lagi meriah. pastu xlah rasa janggal sgt kan couple dengan kawan.
untuk seseorang tu, tolonglah. aku dan aqie dah kecik hati dengan kau. kau cuti seminggu ade tak kau ajak kitorang keluar ke ape. tak de pun. kalau aku xcakap dengan aqie sruh cakap dengan kau yang aku merajok, kau memang diam langsung ah. maybe aku ni tergedik la kan nk merajok, tapi come on lah. sebelum ni kalau cuti ke ape, mesti kita ade keluar same2 men boling kan. mase kau cuti baru2 ni, ade? last day kau free sebelum kena balek kolej kau tu, kitorang ajak keluar pun kau liat kan. siap kitorang kena tunggu kau lagi berendut gn awek kau depan rumah. eee sakit hati tauu. time kau sedih kecewa gadoh ke ape, kitorang yang kau carik. sekarang ape jd? aqie yang da lame jadi kwn baik kau pun da terasa, aku ni yang pompuan sejati lagilah terasa. aku ungkit ni sbb da malas ah pendam dalam hati. tensen.

okeh dahh. fuhhh tenang sedikit. :)

selamat berpuasa :)

July 04, 2011

sedih.

kenapa sume orang suruh pegi fast track. salah sgt ke kalau nak abeskan diploma. aku penat peker. tolonglahh. give me space and time to think. aku tak nak buat the same mistakes like i did before. pharmacy bukan pilihan aku dulu. aku ditarek oleh kwn aku yg janji nak masok uitm same2, and what did i get. i went alone. aku xnk jd mcm dlu balek.

tolong. i really need some help. i need advice. bukan kritikan. bukan ayat yang jatuhkan self-esteem aku. :(

June 14, 2011

practical. again.

salam.

nak cerita lagi pasal practical. hehe. this week i was assigned to satellite pharmacy, located at blok A. so, da puas bergaduh mulut dengan si erma, last2 aku mengalah lah and accept the fact yang aku kena kerja sane seminggu. xpelah. seminggu kan, bukan sebulan. then, da dua hari ni, hmm ade jugak kebaikan dan keburukan die,

aku cerita dulu kebaikan die. the good thing is that i have learn to dispense medication to patient and screening the prescription. tu benda baru yang aku belajar lah mase dekat situ. and i learn acetylcystein dlm bentuk tablet adalah untuk food poisoning while dalam bentuk IV adalah untuk PCM poisoning. tau PCM x anak2? Paracetamol hehe. kau cakap paracetamol pnjg2 kt sane, kau kena gelak je tau heheh.

but, the bad thing is that aku dibuli. atau dalam bahasa ragu2 aku rase seperti aku dibuli. kenape? sebab..... hehe. semalam, time aku tengah busy giler nih carik ubat untuk filling dalam envelope, ade sorang akak assistant Ph dengan selambanye tido depan aku. betol2 depan mata aku nih. aku dengan kaki lenguhnye lagi. heee memang sabar je. yela budak belajar kan.

pastu tad pulak, ade sorang pharmacist chinese nih, die memang xbole tengok aku free. aku baru duduk brape saat da panggil sruh kire ubat, pastu baru je relak kejap da panggil lagi suruh aku carik ubat yg da expired buang. pergh. dengan muka bajet die. ishh. siyes aku cakap, kt situ, not many chinese pharmacist yang ramah tau. kebanyakannye muke sombong, kalau salah buat die attack terus. perghh. takpe, tinggal 3 hari kn. xpe, aku sabar.

then, sekarang nih aku dengar cerita, ramai budak2 pharmacy tempat aku, macam nak tukar course. sebab kitaorg baru sedar yang keje sebagai pharmacist ke assistant ke sangat boring. cuba bayangkan, belajar susah-susah time diploma tu, bila kerja setakat angkat kotak, topup ubat yang da nak abes. ko tak rase mcm membazir ke? kerja tu, org yg xde diploma farmasi pun bole buat tau. lepas tu, keje jd pharmacist pulak hari2 ko kena screen prescription jeee. memanjang tengok kertas. kalau naseb baik, dapatlah dispense ubat ktat patient, kalau x? haaa xke pelik. belajar lame2 setakat nak screening jee.

ade sorang akak pelatih pegawai ni cakap uitm punye degree farmasi susah. lagi2 chemistry and organic chemistry. sebab uitm amek chemistry yang standard tinggi. usm um upm amek chemistry yang biase. aku pulak da setaun tinggalkan kimia manelah ingat lagi hoii. aduhhh.

so sekarang nih, tengah confuse lahh. need to make a decision whether to stay in uitm continuing to degree pharmacy, or take another university, or, paling daebak, take another course. ehhe :)

June 02, 2011

practical.

salam keoada semua. heheh macam ada orang bace pulak.

hari ni genaplah 4hari aku practical di HSA. kalau orang tgk mesti die cakap ek eleh, baru 4hari jee. orang lain keje dah berpuluh tahun tak heran pun. erk. terasa tauu.

okok. selama 4 hari ni mase aku banyak di OPD (outpatient department) atau dalam bahasa kita2 nih farmasi klinik pakar. korang yang duduk JB ni maybe tau la kan. kalau nak dibandingkan OPD and department lain, beza sangat. OPD sangat sibuk. 1 hari lebih kurang 1500 pesakit yang akan datang bg prescription and amek ubat. peak hour is around 9-12p.m and 2-4p.m. time ni, nak borak dengan membe ke dengan Akak and Abang(ehem) PPF pun xsempat. berlanggar lagi ada sebab nak cepat. takpe ade baju hehe. mase first day, aku kt OPD, pergh memang tak tahan lah kaki. saket sungguh. xsempat nk duduk langsung. muka toya je budak budak practical mase balek. ish3.

hari kedua, aku dekat OPD lagi. tapi oke sket lah sbb patient xramai sangat. tapi still penat jugak sebab belum bole adapt sangat kan. da bole lah berborak dengan akak and abang kat situ.

hari ketiga, aku dengan kawan aku erma kena pergi TPN and TDM. TPN stands for Total Parenteral Nutriton while TDM stands for Therapeutic Drug Monitoring. TPN ni buat macam makanan dalam bentuk liquid. kalau korang pergi hospital korang akan nampak satu peket plastik yang die gantung macam gantung darah tu, kaler die kuning2 gitu. haa tulah TPN. dalam tu ade nutrition for patient who cannot take food via mouth. TDM pulak analisis ujian darah untuk drug2 yang therapeutic index die tinggi. maksudnye kalau patient terlebih amek dose ntok drug ni, atau terkurang, die akan dpt adverse effect of the drug yg teruk lahh. okeh paham? hehe. tp sekejap je aku pegi kt situ. petang tu masok OPD balek.

then, tad, ktorang kt OPD. tak lah penat sangat sbb patient xramai. borak2 ade. hehe.

xsabar nak tunggu hari sabtu. bowling time ! annyeongg~