kursus PMDS.

sebelum nak balek penang, bapak punye x smgt tuhh. sampaikan nanges malam2 xnk balek sini hahah. menyesal gile apply jd PMDS la ape sume.

tapi spnjg kursus stat hari sabtu smpi rabu iaitu smlm, xdapat nak nafikan la kursus die mmg best. xde stress, flow die oke jee. lagi2 dapat 1 group gn abg skandal aku dulu tuh. hohahaha lagi la smgt gle. :D \

mase ari selasa, ade explorace dr pagi smpi ptg. aku igt explorace die juz dalam uitm shah alam tu je. sekali sampai kwsn shah alam pun ade. mmg kaki aku mcm nak patah la. dgn melecet lg. bygkan la uitm shah alam yg kwsn die bebukit tu, kena naek trun, pastu kuar uitm pegi masjid, plaza sentral, tasik, galeri seni, n banyak lagi la. mmg semput la aritu. mmg rase nak givup gile. task1 je ktorg da abeskn dua jam je ntok crk golden card ntok klu strusnye. carik punye carik xjumpa. rupenye abg urusetia tu ltk dkt dlm longkang, tmpal kt bhg atas dlm longkang tu. korang x rase cm nak maki hamun ke hahah. tensen time tu.

tapi overall mmg best la. tetiba rase sem dpn nak masok lg. heheh. dapat aku eratkan silaturahim gn abg **** tu hahahah. jangan marahhh. banyak kenangan ni huhu.

cume, tuas ktorg PMDS ni akan stat lusa nnt laa. aku plak jadi BIRO MAKANAN, so keje aku mmg mencabar gile la. lebih kurang mcm biro disiplin sume tuh.
haihhhh

urghhh

da sampai penang.
tapi hati jiwa dan raga kt jb. mcm mane ni =.=

aqie dpt utm. that girl pn dapt. damnn.
mcm mane aku nk rase tenang nii.
bkn nk kate aku ni xpcaye kwn ke ape, tp kite pun selalu dgr citer kwn tikam kwn.
korang pun penah dgr kwn rampas pakwe ke mkwe an. adehhh

aku percaye aqie, tp bile kpercayaan aku penah dikhianati dulu, ecehh ayat, mestila aku da mula rase insecure.

haihhhh mcm mane nii =.=

alhamdulillahh~

nak cakap ni the best result so far, xbole jgk. sbb baru 2sem haha. tapi alhamdulillah dapat naekkn pointer dari 3.6 to 3.7. Allah perkenankn doa aku, syukurr. sem 2 aku dpat 3.79. agak tkjut jgkla. sbb aku expect math dpt C, liquid dpt B+. tapi math dpt B+, liquid dpt A. baek pulak miss roza ni bagi orang A ye. selame ni die kdekut sket hha.

congrats to my friends yang dpt DL, yang dpt naekkn pointer mcm saya. tahniah2. yg jatuh sket tu, xpe next sem bole cube lg. tp ntok dak farmasi, sem dpn sem yang paling havoc sekali. timetables yang sgt pack dr pagi smpi ptg, siap ade class clash time lagi. jangan ade klas mlm sudah T__T da la kena duduk luar.

insyaAllah jugak dpt hp baru. huhu hp saya da nak nazak dah ni. mane lagi best ye? sony xperia ke sony satio ke iphone? tell me your opinion. ehehe.

...

first, happy birthday to my lovely boyfriend puhahaha aqie.
may GOD bless you always, and i hope we will stay together till death.
Amin~~

secondly, my prob is the same as has prob. tapi not because of the same reason. same topic.
BESTFRIEND.
you know, sometimes i feel that i didnt have any bf at all. when we were hang out together, i always felt left out. i walked alone, thinking that maybe i shouldnt be there at all, because they sometimes didnt noticed me.

i hate that i'm crying because of this. but i do.
i've always tried to be the best for them. until my mom even called me 'lurus bendul' because of my friends. but i dont care. i always thought my friends are important to me. they chill up your life, sharing problems and others. but that was before. when we were still at school.

haih.
tolonglah jangan pikir saya tinggalkan awak, or saya pilih kawan, or whatever. because i don't. saya xajak awak keluar, that doesnt mean that i hate you. saya cume nak biarkan sume masalah tu setel dulu. saya xbenci awak, or saya xrase awak xdiperlukan. ramai orang nak kawan dgn awak. among our geng, i'm sure dorang lebih suka keluar dengan awak dari dengan saya. sebab saya ni boring, pendiam, xhappening sumelah.

tolonglah buat sikap pker negative awak tu. that's not good. believe me. i've been in that situation. and it will only make matters becoming worse. lantaklah english mcm LAP. huhh.

saya jadi pendengar yang baek untuk awak. sume masalah awak awak cite kt saya. saya bagi sokongan, even awak kadang2 degil xnak dengar. sampai saya marah baru awk dengar. tu pon awak da nak merajok. haihhh. bile pasal masalah saya, awak dgr nak x nak then awak ckp 'xpe, jgn pker sgt, nnt okelah'. fine, saya xkesah. saya tau awak banyak masalah, saya ade kawan laen ntok mtk pendapat so saya xnak susahkan awak.

sebelum saya pergi, saya cume nak hepi2 je. kite xtau mase depan mcm mane. mungkin kite jumpa lagi, mungkin kite x. so, tolonglah jangan buat saya macam ni. saya boleh jadi gile.

saya sayang semua kwn saya. i mean it. and if you love me back, i love you more. :)

p/s: result kuar sok. tapi da xde feeling nak dapat result. takot die extreme.

i know i should.

last thursday, aqie has pja n others went out to cs and other places. i didnt want to go coz i thought my presence there would be, u know, uncomfortable. i'm not close enough to them except for aqie(of coursee duhh), raje has n pja. close enough :D

but then, last night when aqie called me and told me bout what u guys were doing and who were coming, i was surprised to know that ***** was there. obviously surprised. its like, when aqie called out his name, i was like "haaaaa, ***** ade? alaaa nape xcakapp" haha rude isnt it. but u know i cant hide my expression. i've been hoping yang we all akan bjmpa kt memane la. but no luck, so far.

i should have get over with him years agooo. we've been together for just what? half a year damn it. why did i always think about him? this is so wrong, i know that. its not like we were together for 10 years and suddenly break things up. haihhhh.

i've told this to some of my friends i think, i still talks bout him sometimes.
i've realised it after a while and i know why he was still in my mind.

you know, he was my first love. urghhhhh
at first, we didnt broke up bcause i cheated on him, or he cheated on me or whatever. he wants to break off bcause my parents told me to stop having a relationship with him. so, i thought that we could get back together you know, because he says so. =.= and i'm too naive for believing in him.

then, after some time, aqie told me, that ***** told him, or should i say, their friends? that he broke up with me not bcause of my parents, but bcause he wanted to. so i thought that i was too boring for him, too ugly, not pretty to be beside him. i dont know. but, deep inside my heart, i know that he was telling those stories bcause he was protecting his image. his ego. man's ego. duhhh

when we're together, it felt so real. you know, his love for me, when we were chatting at night, laugh, hang out together, all those things made me happy and they were my wonderful memories with him. i loved his voice when he was talking to me. i love eveything about him. i loved him so much at that time and that the end-of-relationship was too hard for me to handle. i cried every night that week, i missed him badly and one at a time, i picked up my phone to called him, but i put it back. apekah aku merepek? hmm

sampai sekarang, i still remember where we first met, dating, talks on the phone. most of it is still kept in my mind. i didnt dare to forget it because he was my first love. i know i'm in the bad side as i already have a boyfriend right now, but i cant resist this feelings when it comes.

after my dad my bro n aqie, he is the 4th guy i loved so much in my life. err no, was.

i still want to know the truth though, why he wanted to broke up at that time. hmm.

i know i should get rid of him. get over with him. probably.

(sadly)i just hope he will be happy in his life. goodbye my ex lover, i didnt dare to fall in love with you again. it hurts.