cried. (editto)

last time i cried is when i got 9A's for my SPM.
today
i cried on my mom's shoulder.

why?

sighh.
tadi, around 4++ p.m, 3 people from SAITO college came to my house.
one of them da called me this morning to tell me that dorang naak datang rumah.
so, i though, ok.
even its a little bit weird since not any of the other colleges people have come to my house.
usually dorang just call je kn..

then, one of them, cik ***, told me that i have been elected to get pinjaman mara and will be mara scholarship if i get good pointer in their college.
i was stunned. really.
i juz been elected for mara interview only, tapi knp aku dapat yg niyhh.

i started to feel miserable that time.
then, die story la bout their college, how mara choose them ntok bumiputera, how i get it blablabla.
they don't have the course that i want to study.
they only have urm business management, graphic design, multimedia design, security management n ape tah lg 1.
akk tu cakap, since i want to be a pharmacist, or something related to medicine, she told me to take security management.
aku dah :O

akk tu kata jangan risau la.
sebab kite xpayah keluar duet, kite dapat duet lagi ade.
so, aku peker la time akk tu ckp sume.

then, i asked her one question.

saya ade mtk biasiswa mara tu.
tapi kalau saya tolak tawaran ni,
then ssh ke saya nk dpt interview mara nanti?

but this question totally changed my mood.
i deeply regret it that i asked her this.
she says,

da susahla dik. sebab adik tolak tawaran yang adik x mtk,
die yg bg.
then adik nk mtk balek twrn yg adik da reject,
xkanla sng2 gitu je kan.

i shouldn't asked her.
urghhhh

then, die bg time sruh aku peker.
aku bncg gn mkayah.
my dad senyap je. while my mom sruh i opposed it.
she told me to call cikgu rabiah.
then i called then blablabla.
cikgu pun sruh tolak jeee.

pas2 aku cakap gn akak tuh,
aku tolak la.
then muke akk lagi sorg ni da ketat semcm ann.
die kate "sayang awak tolak"
and then die mtk pamphlet2 yg aku tgk tadi gn nada yang agak kurangaja la.
cm die pker aku x hargai ape org bg la gituu.
damn. klau die ade course pharmacy tuh,
mmg sure i will accept it. with honour haha.

then, sorang uncle ni mintak no siri kt borang tuh and cal office mara la.
aku tgk jam, 6.15 p.m..
bukak lg ke? mstla da tutup ann.
whatthefishh

they walked out of my house in a rush you know.
mcam aku nak tembak dorang sekor2..
dorang balek je aku terus meraung dalam bilik.
my mom pujuk la. she said it doesnt matter if i failed to get mara scholarship gituu
tapi aku sedih la ann.
sebab akk tu cakap da susah nk dpt.
but its ok. aku try jgk ntok interview tuh.
sigh.
ade rezeki aku dapat. adela.