no title.

smlm gado.
sbb aku sunyi.
die bz keje.
tapi da baek la.
eheh.
aku xmaen gado lelame ni.

nk ajk mama kua nnt byk alsn plak.
las2 tbongkang kt katil tulis blog.
tp takde story la.
aish.

cume skarang aku bz la.
crk idea ntok interview tuh.
da la lidah bebelit nk speaking.
waduhh
tersiksa sungguh.

igt nk kua ptg ni.
gi jj ke.
ehe.
aku kn muke jj.
tp mcm mls.

aish.
boring giler deyh.

lupe.

ehe. lupe nak cakap.

pasal post makcik **** yang aku anta semalam tuh,
act, aku xkn attack orang banyak gituh membebel.
tapi, makcik tu dari dulu lg,
since i moved out from mrsm,
die saje je carik pasal nak saketkan ati mak aku.

mak aku pun ade cakap.

"kalau mama jumpa die kat sekolah, mama mesti nak elak.
nampak die je, dari jalan terus, mama belok tmpt laen"

yeah thats my mom. XD

aku penah jumpe die dulu.
kat pasar malam.
muke pon laen macam punye bengis.
ceyh.

whattever.

jeezz

rasa macam best pulak letak banyak2 post ni hahah.

tadi, my family support the earth hour.
while waiting, i write some idea for my interview essays.
da boring, aku teman adik maen bola kat luar haha.
and then i played sudoku in my hp.
well, ade lampu ke xde lampu ke same je pade aku haha.

in these few days, i'll be busy searching ideas for my interviews.
damn its just 2weeks away.
gosh i'm so nervous.

they want me to write an essay about

perihal diri sendiri, perancangan pengajian, dan kerjaya
dalam bahasa malaysia / bahasa inggeris bersesuaian
dengan bahasa pengantar pengajian yang akan
saudari ikuti.

ouh, and i was like, what the heck after reading it.
da tentu2 semua mesti bhs inggeris nak tulis bm plak.
damn.
no idea at all about this.

as for today, i am seriously in bad mood.
even my boyfie pun terkena penangan bad mood aku tuh.

its like, eveything is wrong.
i want to let out my anger to almost everyone.
grrr..
well, pompuan yang angkat BENDERA MERAH ni memang selalu gitu kn.
XD

now, i'm better.
a bit better than before.
i'll just need to hold my anger tho.
sighh

sports day.

tad pegi sekolah.
tu pun kelam kabut.
i nak pegi around 11 gituh,
tapi si natasa da memekak pagi2 sruh aku datang awal.
jeez..
so, kelamkabut mandi and makan, (sempat basuh rambut heheh)
i sampai skola pukul 10.

but pakcik guard told me visitors can't enter the school.
i was like, what the heck, natasa masok bole ajee..
then, bila natasa da datang baru pakcik tu bagi.
ceyhhh..

aku pegi kat astaka, tengoktengok cikgu.
well, year after year my ex school sports day becoming less fun.
everyone mind their own business.
only small group of people are willing to cheered their rumah sukan.
its pretty boring actually.

saw my junior, shaf,nuryn and others haha.
they waving at me.
yeah, i'm pretty famous aren't i XD
perasan giler.

today, maybe balek kampung.
but my dad keje tomorrow, so i don't know.
totally bored staying at home.
urghhh..

mkcik ****. jangan macam2 lah !

tadi tengah hari mak aku balek keje, i told her bout the biasiswa thingy.

ouh yea, i got accepted for mara interview.
and i need to go to mara scholarships interview in kl this april.
ieka n net also got it.

so, after i told my mom about it, my mom cerita sket.

"tadi mase mama kt sekola, ade sorang cikgu ni ckap kt mama,"
"awak tau x, si ****** budak mrsm tuh da dapat tawaran blaja oversea"
"mana cikgu tau?"
"adik die yang bagitau saya.
tengokla budak mrsm dapat 5-6A pun da dapat tawaran.
anak awak yang kuar mrsm tu tak dapat lagi ke?"

wooo..
serious shit cikgu ni menyindir mak aku.
what the hell.
ouhh,, ko ingat, bila semua anak ko tuh masok mrsm, masok skola sains,
kire da pandai arr semuaa..
and sebab my mom was just a cleaner kat situ and i drop out from mrsm,
kire aku da bodoh sangatlaa..
mak aku saket je ati ko cakap macam gituh.
aku macam nak tulis surat je bagi kt ko tau.
naseb je aku maseh ade sopan santunnye.

makcik ****, nasebla makcik ni cikgu,
dan saya plak agak hormat orang yang jadi cikgu niyh.
but, jangan ingat makcik jadi cikgu, makcik nak perbodohkan mak saya kt situ.
its not like when someone's mum is a cleaner, her children is stupid.

fyi, mak saya keje sebagai cleaner tu sebab die boring duduk kat rumah.
kalau makcik tanye kawan mak saya tuh, die lagi kaya drpd cikgu tahu.
cuma sebab die duduk rumah, bosan, die keje.
saya tak kata saya kaya, tapi saya takla miskin sangat pun.
masih boleh dapat apa yang saya mahu walaupun xseberapa.

and, cikgu,
bukan semua budak-budak mrsm, skola sains tu pandai.
mula-mula memangla bangga, dok kecoh sana sini.
tapi kalau cikgu tengok batch saya tahun lepas,
and bandingkan kami yang sekolah biase n mereka yang sekola bagus tuh,
result kami lagi menyerlah.
saya tak berlagak, dan saya takde niat nak menyindir sapesape,
but its the truth.

cikgu kesayangan(mom in law XD) saya pun cakap,

"naseb baek awak keluar mrsm,
kalau tak result awak pun lebih kurang dengan kawan2 awak yang dkt mrsm tuh"

this is what my teacher says.
and many of us agreed with her.
tapi, semua pun setuju mrsm, skola sains, sbp tuh sekolah yang bagus2.
ramai yang dapat straight a1, straight a kat sane.
bandingkn kawankawan saya, no one has achieve higher than us yang sekolah biase ni.
so, can't u see?

saya nak tengok sangat, anakanak makcik tuh dapat result mcm mane..
mesti gempak kn, macam mulut mak die.
saya akan menunggu,
sementara saya sambung studi di memane tempat yang nakkan saya.
yelah, saya hanya anak seorang cleaner yang keluar mrsm bukan?

tapi, saya takpernah malu mak saya hanya pembersih.
my mom was the best mom and also my dad.
yang berjaya didik me n my bro sampai kami tergolong dalam budak2 yang agak pandai.

tolonglah makcik, jaga mulut dan tingkah laku makcik.
saya paham makcik lebih banyak mkn asam garam dari saya,
yang baru hidup selama 18 tahun ni.
tapi, mungkin sebab da terlalu lama, makcik merendah-rendahkn maruah mak saya
di depan mata mkcik.
mak saya pernah menangis sebab saya keluar mrsm dan orang xhabishabis menyindir,
tapi mak saya kuat semangat.
dan saya jugak semangat nak buktikan walaupun saya keluar mrsm,
saya masih bole berjaya.
saya gembira bile mak saya menangis sebab saya berjaya buat die bangga.

p/s: maaf atas kekasaran bahasa. tapi saya takboleh duduk diam bila mak saya
saje yang terkena.

yang kecewa,
me.

flashback

more to laugh than smile

first met at his house, which i had math tuition when i was in form 3.
we actually went to the same primary school, but i didnt know him as he moved to perak and came back here when we were in standard 6.
i'm going out with his friends, ikram but broke up in early feb or march i think.
than, i'm alone till pmr was over.
but around that time, i secretly like his other friends, i juz called him A (A is not his actual name ok. aku xnk orang tau !)
we went to the same tuition and i thought maybe, yeah MAYBE, he likes me.
after pmr's over, i told A that i like him. he said he dun want to have a relationship with anyone at that time. so thats that. full stop.

when i was in form4, ieka often messaging aqie. they started to be friends.
i'm not sure where she got his number though.
then, something comes to my mind and i thought that i wanted to also be friends with him.
so, i got his numbers from ieka and we started chatting.
he's a fine man. really.
for me, he treats girls he barely knows quite well, and i liked it when he somewhat layan me as thought we were good friends.
yeah, i admit i was kind of lonely before, so his existence cheered me up.
and when he first called me, i thought like,

waahh,, comelnyee suareee !!

haha, and he also told me my voice was cute.. ehe (blushed)
so, we chatting and calling each other, story about himself and my self.
and i was kinda surprised to know that he had a scandal before with one of her girl friends.
i started to like him somehow, but after i knew bout his scandal, i tried to distanced myself.
he just dun wanna let me do it. he said that gal was just a scandal, and for him i am his important person. i was delighted. VERY delighted.
haha.
well, my scandal is far too many than him actually.. blehhh
but i'm not really into them.

my belief is that, when i'm going out with someone,
i want that relationship to last long.
i'm not taking this relationship thing just for play.

ok, done. back to the story.
obviously, he is a very shy person who seldom gets along with girls. not like his friend, Raja.
to meet and know this type of person (aqie, i mean) was one of the 100. thousand, maybe haha.

after months we being as friends, and my feelings for him grow larger, i started to, you know, flirting (wahahahahahha lawakkk) no no i mean, try to make him feel close to me.
on the first count, we would call each other like this,

hye pakwe
hye makwe

something like that la. we take it as a joke at first, but that joke obviously brings us closer than before.

i confessed to him at first, and i told him not to be distracted by that, and just keep treating me like before. so all went well.

and then on 2nd may 2007, he confessed to me. well, all the details i keep in my heart haha. but, we had a little fight before i said yes. about his scandal haha.
girls nature is jealousy right, so dont blame it on me.

so up till now we've been together.
almost 2years.
and i have no doubt that i'm happy being with him.

love,
from us

dulu-dulu..

dulu-dulu, mase aku kecik lagi around 7-8 years old, aku suke maen kira2..
time tuh pun aku da berangan nk jd pengurus kewangan haha..

ade 1 time tuh, kacang cap tangan yang da abes makan tinggal kulit,
aku ltk dalam 1 plastik besar, lpas tuh amek plastik kecik banyak2,
buat cam ade kedai la gituu..

paling xbole blah, aku maen berangan-berangan depan mak ayah aku.
haha.
dulu x bengang laa..
sekarang bile piker balek, urghhh maluuu gilerr
i think my parents were smirked behind my back mase tu.

ade lagi 1 time tuh, keyboard lame ayah aku bawak dari tmpt keje die,
aku amek bawak masok bilek, aku maen tekantekan haha.
semua benda segala dalam bilek ni aku letak harge.
ahaha
frame takat harge 4 inget lebih aku letak 500 XDD
biaselah, no working experience. -.-

dulu aku duduk dkt kg telok serdang.
same kg gn nadia syameera tuh,
although kalau die tak tegur aku dulu aku mmg xcam die ;p
depan rumah aku rumah mak besah.
anak die sume da besarbesar da, skrang da kawen pun.
aku rapat dgn ank die yang bongsu.
lelaki. XD
sampai time kecik2 aku da peker aku suke kat die haha

dulu si usop ni gigi depan die takde. sume gigi susu.
serentak agaknye patah haha.
bile die cakap nampak cam comel je wahaha.
last aku jumpa die dua taun lepas, tu pun time akak die kawen.
da bsar, tinggi itam manis.
haih
rindu plak.

confuse

not many things going on in my life this past few days..
so, i don't have anything to talk here..

these past days, i'm confused on what course i should take for my future
i already submitted my choice 2times, and i have only 1 chance to kemaskini n i still confuse
what course to choose.
my dad slow talk to me petang tadi, n he said better take course yang boleh menjamin masa depan. sng dapat keja.
i thought like getting a job is not easy right..
we have to fill in the application, go to an interview and blablabla..

almost all my choice for upu include science and pharmacy..
and 1 choice in kejuruteraan kimia and another 1 is kimia perindustrian.

i seriously love chemistry, so i thought i want to pursue my studies including it.
tapi, after thinking about it, i would like to take course on perniagaan or sumber manusia.
i mean, for me, its cool working in a company, and have your own office.
(obses after reading some novels -.- )

i'm madly confused right now.
syafiqah and rahmah also took pharmacy,
and it will be good for 3 of us.

but i would want to take perniagaan or something related to that.
i don't want my studies for 10 or contoh 15 years will be wasted.

urghhh...
can anyone help me?
any advice?
T_T